Rilla of Ingleside

Walter had come home for a week's leave before going overseas. Rilla had lived through the days of his absence on the hope of that week, and now that it had come she drank every minute of it thirstily, hating even the hours she had to spend in sleep, they seemed such a waste of precious moments. In spite of its sadness, it was a beautiful week, full of poignant, unforgettable hours, when she and Walter had long walks and talks and silences together. He was all her own and she knew that he found strength and comfort it her sympathy and understanding. It was very wonderful to know she meant so much to him -- the knowledge helped her though moments that would otherwise have been unendurable, and gave her power to smile -- and even to laugh a little. When Walter had gone she might indulge in the comfort of tears, but not while he was here.

It's a beautifully written little paragraph right? Well guess what? It's not what you might have initially thought it was. This isn't describing the sweet relationship of lovers -- but of a brother and sister. Which I think is even more beautiful.

thoughts on aeroplanes

Matt 6:20 - "But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven..."

      The aeroplane soared and dipped and circled, and soared again, until it became a mere speck far over the sunset hills.
     "I wonder," said Miss Oliver, "if humanity will be any happier because of aeroplanse. It seems to me that the sum of human happiness remains much the same from age to age, no matter how it may vary in distribution, and that all the 'many inventions' neither lessen nor increase it."
      "After all, the 'kingdom of heaven is within you,'" said Mr. Meredith. "It does not depend on material achievements and triumphs." (R. of I.)

The advancements of technology have made for the comforts of modern society that we all "need" now to be "happy." We've become such consumers. Excuse the reference, but we ARE living in a material world and I DO wonder if I've become too much of a material girl. Basing too much of my life around the pleasure of things. There's just SO MUCH available now; the newest cellphone that really won't make me any happier and all the things I waste time/money shopping for. It's a hard balance to find -- between being "neat and comely" and overindulging in the expensive and unnecessary (Alma 1:27)

steadiness

I've heard it said that the great world wars of the last century were part of the price humanity paid for the rapid advancements that came along as well. While I'm not sure about of that kind of universal "trade-off," I do believe that the sense of duty and responsibility that propelled many people who lived in those times earned them something that many of us now have lost.  

It was a kind of dependable human steadiness. A true strength of will.

The Zeller brothers. My father remembers them from his youth in Montana. Bud and Dean Zeller, who for all the years of their lives -- 365 days a year -- got up and milked the cows in their dairy. What does it mean to have that kind of constant in your life? Come what may in life and the world, that one duty is always there, waiting; every morning to wake up, pull on your clothes, and plod out in the darkness to the barn. (My father knows...do I?)

They milked cows and raised hay and stayed old bachelors, living together with their sister Kathryn, growing old and white-haired. Then one day, Bud up and married Thelma Braden, the post office lady, who had cared for her invalid mother well into "old-maidenhood." They married well past the age of having children for reasons beyond youth's fancies and dreams. What does it mean to live simply and patiently? Finding contentment in the "as they are" rather than the "if only they had been." (My grandpa knows...do I?)

What does it mean to grow hay and then see, in one  hailstorm -- in five minutes, a whole year's work gone. And then go into town the next day to borrow money from the bank to start over. To try again. There must be a kind of happiness won through steadiness -- through doing what "must be done." (My great-grandfather knows it...do I?)

I've read that happiness can be a gift from life and love -- it can just come into our lives. But that kind of happiness isn't really ours…life can take it back at any time. The kind that we earn, it's a different and better kind of happiness. It can never be taken away, no matter what comes along. 

I wonder at the strength of character of all those who came before... 

my dad is a good son

I hope that when I am a little white-haired granny I have a son who visits me every week and brings me beets, tomatoes, and onions from his garden.

Oh, but can I do more than wish for it?

the priesthood

I was asked to teach a lesson on the priesthood for relief society...a bit of a daunting task.

I read through the manual, started skimming through "Women and the Priesthood," and mulled over how I was going to approach this topic. I wanted to do it justice. After spending some time talking with my dad, he has to give the same lesson to the High Priests (a very scriptural deep-doctrine style lesson), I found that our conversation was able to put me on the right path --  to spend more time in the scriptures.

What is the Priesthood?

1. Well, to understand that we have to start with He to whom the priesthood belong. In D&C 88:12-13 we learn that from God "proceedeth forth" His power, all law, and live-giving light. This eternal being, because of who He is, has a power (which we find out in D&C 29:36 is His honor [there's a lot there eh?] and that Heb. 5:4 no one can take this honor on himself unless called) and it is the power of heaven. This power is "inseparably connected" with the "rights of the priesthood" (D&C 121-36) which rights have the responsibility "in administering spiritual things" (D&C 107:10). These are the ordinances of the Gospel.
2. In these "ordinances of heaven" (Job 38:33) where the power of God is administered, we also find "the power of Godliness manifest" (D&C 84:20). The power of Godliness -- meaning the power to do something Godly and the power to become Godly. The first in the simple fact that by performing the sacred ordinances of the gospel, priesthood holders are exercising a Godly power. They wield the power of the Lord of all Creation. For that reason they MUST be pure and worthy and they WILL be cleansed and perfected. The second, that through these ordinances Godliness becomes ours, demonstrates again more clearly that the purpose of the priesthood is to redeem, sanctify, and reclaim us. It is the power of salvation -- what will make us like unto our Father.
3. Which is, of course, His ultimate goal. As Moses 1:39 teaches, the Lord's work and glory is "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." This is done through His power. Through the priesthood. Through the manifestation of the power of Godliness.

And THAT is why I wanted to do this lesson justice. I hope that I did. The priesthood is an AMAZING thing and I am so grateful to live in a time when it is on the earth in it's fullness.

(Since it was a Relief Society lesson, I also spent time discussing how the priesthood power of Godliness is, in it's fullness, a combined effort. It's power is held by men, yet available to women, and fully manifest in the sealing of the two -- and that, combined with the Godly power of creation (only made available to man through women) it is together that men and women become Godly.)

parenting

Let me introduce this quote by saying I totally disagree:

The economist Andrew Oswald, who's compared tens of thousands of Britons with children to those without, is at least inclined to view his data in a more positive light: "The broad message is not that children make you less happy; it's just that children don't make you more happy." That is, he tells me, unless you have more than one. "Then the studies show a more negative impact." As a rule, most studies show that mothers are less happy than fathers, that single parents are less happy still, that babies and toddlers are the hardest, and that each successive child produces diminishing returns. But some of the studies are grimmer than others. Robin Simon, a sociologist at Wake Forest University, says parents are more depressed than nonparents no matter what their circumstances--whether they're single or married, whether they have one child or four.


I mean, you have to think about the scale they are using here. How can you gauge happiness anyways? Isn't that pretty subjective? What does this researcher mean by "happy" in this study? Is that in reference to having pleasure or to having a more lasting joy and contentment? Does it mean you value you life? Does being "happy" mean you are just generally cheerful from day to day or that your life is "hassle-free"? Is that what brings happiness? Just a lack of distress? 

I guarantee the life of a parent is FULL of distress -- but it's distress FOR A PURPOSE and that kind of distress is different. Plus I think most parents would agree that the joys of motherhood/fatherhood outweigh the trials. Good parents would anyways. That's another consideration -- how many of these parents are actually GOOD parents? How many of these families are GOOD families? And how many of these parents are selfish? How many of these families are broken? How many simple "stumbled" into parenthood? This "data" is TOTALLY subjective. (Just like most data.)

Family units as they are MEANT to be and parents as the SHOULD be were designed to bring us the greatest challenge and the greatest joy of mortality (read the Proclamation to the World on family).

What matters most is what last the longest. Nothing on this earth can last longer than the bonds of family. Plus the work of parenthood is a Godly work -- the Lord's "work and glory" is after all us, His family.

real love

I've been thinking about love lately. It seems one of the main reasons people are not happy (beyond not keeping the commandments) is because they do not TRULY love -- either because they don't know how or because they simply choose to remain selfish.

For that reason I have been looking for good definitions of love -- and what a person who loves actually DOES (because love is, of course, not just an emotion -- it is a principle of ACTION). Clark Swain (a professor of marriage and family life) backs me up on this one: "Real love is basically the same in all human relationships, whether between a grandfather and a grandmother, a newly married couple, or a mother and her child. It involves caring, respecting, responding, empathizing, having concern, giving, receiving, sharing, forgiving. Notice that these words we are using are verbs, and verbs denote action. Loving requires action." (Swain) This is a GREAT article. I want to spend some time with some of Swain's verbs...

Dr. Erich Frohm, in his book "The Art of Loving" defines and explains what a loving person does. A loving person cares about the loved one. Parents who really love their children take good care of them. A person who says, “I love flowers,” but who doesn’t water and cultivate his flowers, really is not loving his own flowers. A person who says, “I love dogs,” but who doesn’t feed his own dog, is not giving love to that dog. Loving is caring. 

I think this is a good one when it comes to personal introspection. I think it's too easy to say "I love this or that" and "I love you" and think that you mean it. I mean, c'mon -- you SAID it. But it's all about what you do from that point. It's simple to figure out what you love... just look for what you care for the most... Who or what do you spend the most time with? Where are your priorities? Are they in earthly things? Careers, school, hobbies, etc? Elder Russell M. Nelson has said: "I doubt that the Lord cares much which honorable vocation you pursue. But He does care if you love one another and serve one another (see Mosiah 4:15)." Nothing should take a higher priority to who you love. 

ALSO - There is a scripture that teaches how to be filled with love: Alma 38:12 "...see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love..." In reference to romantic love, I think this is clear. (If you love someone you will respect him/her and if your love is returned he/she will respect you.) However, I think it fits into all kinds of love as well. Again, if your priorities are out of order then your "passions" will fill your life and take up all of your time and energy...there will be nothing left for those you love.

A loving person responds to others. Loving is empathizing, trying to understand how the other person feels and letting him know that we understand.

This goes along with caring -- because it takes time and effort to empathize. It's not an easy thing for most people to understand how another human being feels; we're often too absorbed in our own feelings to even be aware of others. Living so that you can sense the emotions of others and respond to them in a loving empathetic way has to be practiced and refined. (I think it is one of the most rewarding aspects of love that you can work on in yourself -- it feels wonderful to know that you are trusted and that others can come to you.)

A loving person has concern for the welfare, progress, and happiness of the loved one. He not only has concern; he does something about it by making his resources available to the loved one. Loving is giving. A true gift of love is one that is given with no strings attached; it is given with no concern about what will be received in return.

Along with empathizing we have to also give. It's hard sometimes when you don't even receive appreciation in return. even worse when the other person doesn't even acknowledge what you've done... but to be true lovers we have to learn to give without worry or care beyond the act itself.

Loving is sharing. Have you ever seen a rainbow or a beautiful sunset when you were alone and thought, “Wouldn’t it be lovely to share this with someone?” Or have you ever been alone during a time of illness or trouble and thought, “Wouldn’t it be consoling to have someone here to share this experience”?

This is the easiest one. It's so immediately rewarding. Sharing something wonderful and beautiful makes it so much MORE wonderful and beautiful. Sharing pain and sorrow makes it much more bearable. What a glorious thing it is to love someone you can share with; ideas, hopes, goals, insights, values, experiences, memories....

BUT, what about being IN LOVE? It includes ALL of this with a very important difference:

It is possible that a couple may have great capacity to give love as individuals, but they are not in love. Perhaps they have different backgrounds and interests. He’s from the country and she’s from the city; he’s interested in ranching and the out-of-doors and she’s interested in travel and music. He is Catholic and she is Protestant. He desires to have children and she is not interested in having a family. Thus, even though each may have great ability to give love, it would not be wise for them to marry.

Maybe you are wondering if you are really in love with your partner, if the two of you have a genuine love that will stand the test of time. If there is admiration between you, if you agree on most things, if you cooperate instead of compete, you are probably in love. If you feel comfortable together and can relax and be natural, you are probably in love.

If you feel proud to be seen together in public, if you have similar interests, (and may I add values!) and if you really trust each other’s loyalty, you are probably in love. If you enjoy one another’s company so much that when you are apart you have a longing to be together, and if you have feelings of deep affection for each other, you are probably in love.

The more of these dimensions that exist in your relationship, the more resilient and lasting your love is likely to be.

Love does not consist of gazing into one another’s eyes, but of looking outward in the same direction. When a man and a woman have learned to do this, though they are two separate persons, a state of inter-person fusion exists between them so that in a real sense they have become one. Each feels toward the other, “I am all for you and you are all for me.” Thus, love is truly “a many-splendored thing.”