a new dress

My mom hasn't bought me clothes in years.

She used to buy everything for me. That or it was hand-me-downs from cousins. I really didn't differentiate or even care. I do remember the first time I ever bought something new for myself. My grandma had sent me birthday money and I couldn't find a toy that I wanted, so mom took me to the clothing department. I bought butterfly-print shorts with a matching top. I think I was in 4th grade.

Around middle school I started to "shop" for reals. For the first couple years mom came along, but after a certain point she just gave me my budget of money (or made me use my own) and sent me off into the stores for the hours I was willing to spend there. I think she was worn out. She would still buy me things from time to time, but after enough of my constant rejections of her choices she left me to my own devices.

I don't presume now to call myself a fashionable person. I certainly wasn't then, despite the years and HOURS and $$$ I spent hunting clothes. I think I went through the typical teenage-girl stage of "desperation to fit in through shopping" and just came out of it where I am now; aware of my personal style but without any driving urge to be continually expanding my style and dress.

And after the whirlwind of growing up I'm back to where I started. Back finally to a place where my mother can find something she thinks is pretty and suits me and not be afraid to buy it for me. Where we're once again close enough to understand what to give, and to be able to lovingly do so. I think THAT is the best part.

Thanks for the dress mom. It's perfect.