Mosiah 5

1 And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had thus spoken to his people, he sent among them, desiring to know of his people if they believed the words which he had spoken unto them. 
2 And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. 
I love this. Not only do they believe king Benjamin's words, they believe ALL of them. Not only do they just believe his words, they know with surety that they are true. This complete shift, from the king wondering if they would believe at all, to their complete confidence came because of the Spirit. This is important because I think we too often operate on the idea that if we could study and understand enough we'd be more confident and secure in our conversion to Christ. Of course study is a part of the process -- but that's not how the actual "mighty change" operates. It's not that we change, it's that our hearts are changed. It is our changed heart that changes us because it changes our "disposition" i.e. "the predominant or prevailing tendency of one's spirits; natural mental and emotional outlook or mood" For example, in the next verse:

3 And we, ourselves, also, through the infinite goodness of God, and the manifestations of his Spirit, have great views of that which is to come; and were it expedient, we could prophesy of all things.
4 And it is the faith which we have had on the things which our king has spoken unto us that has brought us to this great knowledge, whereby we do rejoice with such exceedingly great joy.
Through the spirit our views of the future change -- we become more optimistic and have a positive outlook on things. We see good in people and things and when bad happens, we can see the bigger picture in the context of our faith and trust in the Lord's purpose. Trust in the gospel plan changes our hearts and allows us to know that we have great reason in this life, no matter what, to be joyful. This blessed understanding is what ultimately puts us in a position to choose to covenant with God. Just like king Benjamin's people:

5 And we are willing to enter into a covenant with our God to do his will, and to be obedient to his commandments in all things that he shall command us, all the remainder of our days, that we may not bring upon ourselves a never-ending torment, as has been spoken by the angel, that we may not drink out of the cup of the wrath of God. 
6 And now, these are the words which king Benjamin desired of them; and therefore he said unto them: Ye have spoken the words that I desired; and the covenant which ye have made is a righteous covenant. 7 And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are changed through faith on his name; therefore, ye are born of him and have become his sons
and his daughters. 
This is how we become Christians and this is how we are made free:

8 And under this head ye are made free, and there is no other head whereby ye can be made free. There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ, all you that have entered into the covenant with God that ye should be obedient unto the end of your lives. 
9 And it shall come to pass that whosoever doeth this shall be found at the right hand of God, for he shall know the name by which he is called; for he shall be called by the name of Christ. 
What does it mean to be called by the name of Christ and made free? Well in one way, I think it means that we are free from our crummy dispositions. We're all fallen, and therefor our natural-man inclinations are often towards the base and negative. Humanity hasn't changed it's ways in thousands of years and anyone who has tried to change something about themselves will report that it isn't easy (broken new year's resolutions anyone?) True change of ourselves is difficult without a change of our nature -- and that change is impossible without Christ. It is the Spirit which will make "a mighty change in us, or in our hearts" and the Spirit comes when we show God that we are generally interested in trying to find the truth because He has promised that will respond ("And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" Luke 11:9). When we learn and live the gospel, the divinity of it is manifest in our lives through the Spirit and we are changed.

family connections

I have been thinking about my own inborn yearnings. 

We desire for so much in this life -- and so much joy and satisfaction can come through our efforts to meet and fulfill these longings. But there are definitely some yearnings that are more important than others.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton has said: "When we have a yearning and don’t know what it is for, perhaps it’s our soul longing for its heartland, longing to be no longer alienated from the Lord and the pursuit of something much higher, better, and more fulfilling than anything this earth has to offer." Elder Ashton went on to say that "Perhaps as much as anything in this day and age of mass media, instantaneous worldwide communications, and modern conveniences that seem to help us pack more into each day than would have been considered possible just a few decades ago, we need to focus and direct our attention to the things that really matter. And simply, what really matters is a personal testimony of Jesus Christ, an understanding of who we are and what we’re doing here, and an absolute determination to return home."


We yearn to return to our heavenly home, in the same way we often yearn for our earthly homes. Elder Ashton explained that: "It’s normal to long to be where you feel secure, where those you love have your best interests at heart. It’s understandable to want to return to the place where you learned how to walk and talk, where you felt loved even when friends turned away, and where you were accepted, regardless of the situation. There’s no place on earth that can take the place of a home where love has been given and received." That feeling of HOME is improved and perfected in our families until it's utmost perfection in the Lord. I think our yearning to return to the Lord, to our true home, is a big part of what drives our yearning for companionship, in marriage and family.

We yearn for family connections -- and we are influenced by the stories, testimonies, and strength of those who came before us (and we can do the same for those who will come after us). Family connections can become legacies of faith and love. They can fill, in part, the longing we have for an unbroken connection with God and the home we have in Him.


Elder Russell M. Nelson has stated that: "The noblest yearning of the human heart is for a marriage that can endure beyond death." Why? Because that is the starting point for the work of an eternal family. Relationships that necessitate sincere and sustained upkeep -- connections that are more than just experiences in mortality -- all a foundation for eternity.

Elder Nelson also explained that marriage is not just a union between husband and wife, but that it also "embraces a partnership with God" and that "children born of that marital union are 'an heritage of the Lord.' Marriage is but the beginning bud of family life; parenthood is its flower. And that bouquet becomes even more beautiful when graced with grandchildren. Families may become as eternal as the kingdom of God itself."

That is why carefully choosing a spouse is so important. That is why having children is so important. That is why the time we spend with our families, and the legacies we pass on to our children, are at the core of the plan of salvation. We yearn to "go home" and to have our own home -- and they are intertwined and sustain by efforts in each.

Exaltation is family, home, and God. That's why I am trying to learn to accept my own yearnings as positive desires and not be burdened by them. They are to help bring me home.

P.S.
I want to end with some words from A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean. My Dad quoted them to us this morning from memory and while I'm not going to talk ABOUT them, they helped shape a lot of my thoughts today.

 Now nearly all those I loved and did not understand when I was young are dead, but I still reach out to them.

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Of course, now I am too old to be much of a fisherman, and now of course I usually fish the big waters alone, although some friends think I shouldn't. Like many fly fishermen in western Montana where the summer days are almost Arctic in length, I often do not start fishing until the cool of the evening. Then in the Arctic half-light of the canyon, all existence fades to a being with my soul and memories and the sounds of the Big Blackfoot River and a four-count rhythm and the hope that a fish will rise.

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Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. 

I am haunted by waters.

individuality

individuality |ˌindəˌvijəˈwalitē|noun1 the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind.

I believe in individuality. I believe we all have different qualities that give variety and purpose to our lives and to the church and should not separate us from each other.

I think that in the church there is a tendency towards sameness. Somehow, because we hold to a high moral standard, with the same high goals and desire for perfection, we start to think we must all live the same way to get there; that to be Zion, to be "of one heart and one mind" (Moses 7:18), we must be a completely homogenous people.

President James E. Faust said: "All are equal before the Lord. Yet within our spiritual unity there is wide room for everyone’s individuality and expression. In that setting, all are heirs to the kingdom of God. President Hunter said it well, 'The key to a unified church is a unified soul, one that is at peace with itself and not given to inner conflicts and tensions.'"

It is individuality that unifies us.

Our individuality, the qualities of our soul, our character which we must so carefully cultivate and develop, it is all a precious gift from God -- And Elder Neal A Maxwell quoted President Brigham Young as having declared that "the preservation of human intelligence and individuality through the Atonement and resurrection 'is the greatest gift that ever was bestowed on mankind.'”

It is this great blessing of the little "I am" at my soul's center that is the strengths I have to hone and bless others with, the weaknesses to humble me and tie me to Christ, and the glorious opportunity to develop as a child of God -- "the Great I Am, Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end (D&C 38:1) .

Rilla of Ingleside

Walter had come home for a week's leave before going overseas. Rilla had lived through the days of his absence on the hope of that week, and now that it had come she drank every minute of it thirstily, hating even the hours she had to spend in sleep, they seemed such a waste of precious moments. In spite of its sadness, it was a beautiful week, full of poignant, unforgettable hours, when she and Walter had long walks and talks and silences together. He was all her own and she knew that he found strength and comfort it her sympathy and understanding. It was very wonderful to know she meant so much to him -- the knowledge helped her though moments that would otherwise have been unendurable, and gave her power to smile -- and even to laugh a little. When Walter had gone she might indulge in the comfort of tears, but not while he was here.

It's a beautifully written little paragraph right? Well guess what? It's not what you might have initially thought it was. This isn't describing the sweet relationship of lovers -- but of a brother and sister. Which I think is even more beautiful.

thoughts on aeroplanes

Matt 6:20 - "But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven..."

      The aeroplane soared and dipped and circled, and soared again, until it became a mere speck far over the sunset hills.
     "I wonder," said Miss Oliver, "if humanity will be any happier because of aeroplanse. It seems to me that the sum of human happiness remains much the same from age to age, no matter how it may vary in distribution, and that all the 'many inventions' neither lessen nor increase it."
      "After all, the 'kingdom of heaven is within you,'" said Mr. Meredith. "It does not depend on material achievements and triumphs." (R. of I.)

The advancements of technology have made for the comforts of modern society that we all "need" now to be "happy." We've become such consumers. Excuse the reference, but we ARE living in a material world and I DO wonder if I've become too much of a material girl. Basing too much of my life around the pleasure of things. There's just SO MUCH available now; the newest cellphone that really won't make me any happier and all the things I waste time/money shopping for. It's a hard balance to find -- between being "neat and comely" and overindulging in the expensive and unnecessary (Alma 1:27)

steadiness

I've heard it said that the great world wars of the last century were part of the price humanity paid for the rapid advancements that came along as well. While I'm not sure about of that kind of universal "trade-off," I do believe that the sense of duty and responsibility that propelled many people who lived in those times earned them something that many of us now have lost.  

It was a kind of dependable human steadiness. A true strength of will.

The Zeller brothers. My father remembers them from his youth in Montana. Bud and Dean Zeller, who for all the years of their lives -- 365 days a year -- got up and milked the cows in their dairy. What does it mean to have that kind of constant in your life? Come what may in life and the world, that one duty is always there, waiting; every morning to wake up, pull on your clothes, and plod out in the darkness to the barn. (My father knows...do I?)

They milked cows and raised hay and stayed old bachelors, living together with their sister Kathryn, growing old and white-haired. Then one day, Bud up and married Thelma Braden, the post office lady, who had cared for her invalid mother well into "old-maidenhood." They married well past the age of having children for reasons beyond youth's fancies and dreams. What does it mean to live simply and patiently? Finding contentment in the "as they are" rather than the "if only they had been." (My grandpa knows...do I?)

What does it mean to grow hay and then see, in one  hailstorm -- in five minutes, a whole year's work gone. And then go into town the next day to borrow money from the bank to start over. To try again. There must be a kind of happiness won through steadiness -- through doing what "must be done." (My great-grandfather knows it...do I?)

I've read that happiness can be a gift from life and love -- it can just come into our lives. But that kind of happiness isn't really ours…life can take it back at any time. The kind that we earn, it's a different and better kind of happiness. It can never be taken away, no matter what comes along. 

I wonder at the strength of character of all those who came before... 

my dad is a good son

I hope that when I am a little white-haired granny I have a son who visits me every week and brings me beets, tomatoes, and onions from his garden.

Oh, but can I do more than wish for it?